Power of Positivity

I think partly because I have had cancer longer in my life than I haven’t, an “it is what it is, let’s do this and make the best of it” attitude is just ingrained in me now. Here, I want to explore ways and pass on how one can maintain their positivity during such a challenging and trying time. I mean, of course I have my moments where I want to give in, but I haven’t and I won’t, so how do I push through? There is so much power in positivity and positive thinking, and I’ve experienced that over and over firsthand. I have no doubt that positive thinking has contributed to meeting goals and overcoming odds and setbacks over the years. Plus, it could always be worse, hey?!

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The logic and science of positivity and positive thinking:

Positive thinking is the practice of focusing on the good in any situation and expecting positive outcomes, which can have a significant impact on both mental and physical well-being. It involves reframing negative thoughts, practicing gratitude, and developing a sense of optimism and resilience. 

Key aspects of positive thinking:

• Focus on the good:

  Rather than dwelling on problems, identify and appreciate the positive aspects of situations. 

• Optimistic outlook:

  Expecting positive outcomes and believing that challenges can be overcome. 

• Resilience:

  Bounce back from setbacks and learn from their experiences. 

• Self-talk:

  Consciously shifting negative self-talk to more positive and constructive thoughts. 

• Techniques:

  Techniques like gratitude exercises, reframing negative thoughts, and practicing mindfulness can cultivate an inherently natural positive mindset. 

Benefits of positive thinking:

• Improved mental health:

  Reduce stress, anxiety, and depression by promoting a more optimistic and hopeful outlook. 

• Enhanced physical health:

  A potential contribution to a stronger immune system and overall well-being. 

• Greater happiness and fulfillment:

  By focusing on the good and expecting positive outcomes, individuals are more likely to experience greater joy and satisfaction in life. 

How to cultivate positive thinking:

• Notice and reframe negative thoughts as they happen:

  Be aware of negative thought patterns and consciously challenge them with more positive and realistic perspectives. 

• Practice gratitude:

  Regularly acknowledge and appreciate the good things in your life, whether big or small. You can also keep a gratitude journal and get in a structured routine, like a morning gratitude ritual to encourage the practice to start to come naturally.

• Be kind to yourself:

  Treat yourself with compassion and understanding, even when facing challenges. It’s ok if things are one step forward, two back.

• Engage in positive activities:

  Surround yourself with positive influences, engage in activities that bring you joy, and connect with people who support your happiness. I recently started doing paint by numbers with my morning coffee which not only brings me joy but somehow relaxes me. Just don’t dip the brushes in the coffee by accident…

• Practice mindfulness:

  Pay attention to the present moment and be aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. 

My personal journey with positivity and positive thinking:

• Learning to say no and choose positive activities and experiences that are high value “yes’s” (brings joy, good for physical and mental wellbeing):

  If you know me, you know I have a hard time saying “no” to anything fun. I would push my body beyond the limit rather than miss out; the FOMO (fear of missing out) is real. I think partly, this is because I am so aware of my mortality I want to do everything I can while I can. I really had to learn to say “no” or “next time”, or “it’s not worth the consequences” and that took years. Even in my career, I had to learn to lean into this mentality. I am such a perfectionist, truthfully I am still learning to respect my limits and not overwork. I factor how my body will respond to yes/no activity decisions by weighing pros/cons, practicing willpower to stick to the decision I made, and internally reciting the “no’s”, “next times” and “it’s not worth it’s”.

• Focusing on what I’ve gained, not what I’ve lost:

  Until now, my experience with cancer had been early detection and curative treatment. This is the first time I’ve had to adjust to symptom management with no cure. Mentally, that’s a huge adjustment; you immediately and inevitably have to sacrifice some of the things you want in life, and simultaneously watch others obtain it. For me, the biggest was a loss of romantic relationships, and of motherhood at this stage in life. It may be something different for you. I’ve since come to terms with being the cool aunt, and I’m loving every minute of it. I’ve found ways to grasp on to what I’ve gained, (amazing friends and family, 2 beautiful little nephews) not what I’ve lost.

• Absorbing and reflecting positivity from my surroundings and experiences:

  My positive attitude really started after a few memorable inpatient stays in a double occupancy room early on in my cancer journey. In one of my first stays, my roommate was latching on to the negative at every crossroad. She had been readmitted, was lonely and isolated without visitors or outside communication, and pushed back a lot on symptom management and treatment protocols out of fear and frustration. I didn’t know much yet, but I knew I didn’t want to be like that. I saw how it created a steep decline in her physical and mental state. After my pancreas surgery, my roommate could not have been more opposite. We had similar surgical history, she too has a j-pouch (they shape part of your small intestine to act like your removed colon rather than have an ostomy bag) and that was rare. Every time I had a recovery setback or didn’t hit a milestone she would act as a my hype woman and shout positive, strong messages from the other side of the curtain. When she was discharged, she left me a positive message on my white board. I wanted to be like her! And most recently, I look around the treatment pods as I go in for my chemotherapy regimen and see children, who you can’t help but acknowledge are too young to be dealt such a tough hand in life. How can you not think you’re the lucky one in that comparison. It’s a constant reminder that things can always be worse, and that has helped me maintain my positivity and drive to push through the negative thoughts until they fade out.

Here are some helpful articles and worksheets to start:

5 Best Automatic Negative Thoughts Worksheets is a comprehensive article diving deep into Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs). It includes worksheets such as “Getting Rid of ANTs”, “Identifying ANTs”, “Thoughts/Feelings Record”, “Positive Replacement Thoughts”, “Questions for Challenging Thoughts”

Psychology Worksheets includes 2 worksheets of particular interest to positive thinking in this context. Try “Silver Linings”and “Gratitude Exercises” worksheets.